362, 361, 360

Wow the days are passing fast! and just as I typed that... the clock struck 12.

Anyway the last couple days have been wonderful. Two of the nights, Geoff came over for surprise visits and spent the night. It was so sweet to have him just "drop by" from Pasadena. We snuggled til we fell asleep and after I drifted off to never never land he kissed me goodnight and tucked me into rachel's bed. Then in the morning, he was already awake and I woke up to him blowing morning kisses.  It is a strange feeling to have him spend the night at my house and wake up and have him here.  Night time and morning times are the moments when I have messy hair and no make up. Ha the one thing that is consistent is that my pjs match. :) 

anyway when Geoff was here my "bed routine" didn't bother him. He said multiple times, "you are so pretty" and I was thinking "WHAT ???!" hahaa I tried to snuggle my face in his arms so he wouldn't have to look at me in all my sleepyness, but ironically he wanted to. Geez. Married life is only 360 days away and Geoff and I will have our own house and he will be used to my sleepy routine. haha Thats so strange. It hasn't quite hit me yet....

Lets see what else? Well it is officially Thanksgiving right now and I am going to the Arai house for dinner. I am a little sad because I LOVE the Canty THanksgiving dinner, but I am looking forward to being with "family" in one way or another. Anyway, that is all for now. 

More to come later. Until day 359

363

Today was a strange day.... I tossed and turned all night because I was having dreams that my strong and handsome fiance was rescuing me in his ambulance.As I woke up, I realized my chest was in intense pain. My heart was feeling tight and I was in alot of pain. Luckily, my babysitting gig got canceled at the last moment so I was able to rest. I wasn't sure what was really wrong so I sat and cuddled til the afternoon. Geoff was supposed to work a 24 hour shift today, but he was really worried about me and took off the afternoon and came to my rescue. He checked on me and took my pulse like 30 times (to see if my heart beat was irregular) and basically when he realized I wasn't going to die... he cuddled with me. We played a little bride and groom trivia and that was that. We finally decided that we should get out of the house and work on our OWN phone plan... so we hoped in his car and headed to AT&T. Our goal was to leave our parents' networks and create a FAMILY PLAN with just Geoff and I.  cute huh? yes! well the process was starting to go well until the CUSTOMER SERVICE lady messed EVERYTHING up! It was so confusing but I was able to see Geoff fight for us and for the right thing to be done. I mean he was fighting for our future with a silly phone plan. I don;t know how to explain the proud feelings I felt as I listened to him explain his side to the customer service lady.  There were so many times when tears were literally at the corners of my eyes because I was so proud and excited to be marrying such a strong and dynamic man. He proved that NO ONE will ever mess with us and it just made me feel secure! Anyway all that to say... Geoff and I are on the same phone plan and it is exciting to make baby steps to becoming of one flesh! eeeK! anyway. that is all for today's countdown post. Right now he is sleeping in my bed, and I am curled up in Rachel's bed... We both leave at 730 am for school tomorrow but there is something different about today. I feel just overwhelmed. I don't know.

nighty night.

p.s I got an iphone! yay! 

364

It is officially LESS than ONE YEAR until our wedding!!! YAY!!!! 

I am going to try to write a little blog EVERY DAY and share my ALL of our wedding plans! 

Yesterday was day 365 and Geoff and I went out to a VERY fancy restaurant called Flemings in El Segundo. It was so yummy! We both got all dressed up and enjoyed a very nice feast! There was lots of kissing, tears, and love! We had a wonderful time and I am excited for this upcoming year filled with planning and excitement! Today, Mom, dad and I were looking at wedding invitations! There are so many out there and they are so pretty! Right now, we are looking at invitations that match our napkins, with gold highlights. They are so pretty! We shall see. We ordered a sample so.... until then I'll be crossing my fingers. 

Here are some pictures of our famous 365 night. 

John and Corinna Charlton (our wonderful Westmont friends) sent us beautiful bride and groom bears! A tear came to my eye when I saw them! thank you so much J&C!!!!

bragging rights

I told Geoff I wouldn't post this on the facebook so I am posting it here.

Being the fiance, I obviously have bragging rights so this is my only virtual opportunity  :)

I am so proud of him and all the hard work he has gone through to get to this point. 

yay for EMTs. and yay for Geoffrey!

november 14

i think im jealous.

look at how beautiful they are.

geesh. this is courtney and we were friends when we were very small at our first church called Calvary Lomita. One day out of the blue, her and her family just left. :( I was sad. I have missed her for a long time, and recently she became my friend on the facebook. I was so so happY! 

now she is 25 and she's getting married in january 2010. I guess I am a little sad that we missed out on so much of our life together. oh geesh. I just hate when friends go their own way... and disappear. boo. 

don't blink

or moments like these will be missed... 

treasure life at its fullest. 

to post or not to post

I don't have much to say... but a friend of mine said postings should be within 7 days of each other. so... here is my post.... a randomness of what my mind is thinking

it seems as though this last month is taking FOREVER to pass. I am getting ansy for november!

at the end of this month (the 30th) Geoff and I are taking our Save the date pictures. thats exciting. :) that will be fun hopefully. then the 31st we are spending the day/evening in pasadena. maybe a little pumpkin ravioli.... a little pumpkin carving and then snuggling up to a movie.

we shall see... nothing too much here. still waiting for life to get here.

ansy ansy

out of the house

for a minute or two

and nothing was accomplished.

do not give up. 

do not give up.

"writing a paper"

for an hour or two

and nothing was accomplished.

do not give up. 

do not give up.

applied on line 

for ten thousand jobs or two

and nothing was accomplished

do not give up. 

do not give up.

getting ansy

engaged for almost a year-altogether two

and nothing was accomplished

do not give up. 

do not give up.

it would have been so so easy.

it could be so so easy

but I WILL NOT GIVE UP.

the end

Yesterday was the last wedding of 2009-- whew! (My best friend Esther's baby sister) It has been a long year of weddings and I have enjoyed them all! Today, unfortunately, I am sick and burnt out! I guess 11 weddings in one year does that to yoU!

(they really wanted to do a # 11 photo-- I have been to 11 this year but it was the official 8th wedding of the year because the other 3 were ve

ry last minute)

anyway... there is a month and 8 days until I can begin counting down a year til my wedding. a little scary i think! it is kinda strange to be en

gaged for TWO years! There have been so many ups and downs with us this year I am just wanting engaged life to be over! but I guess this next year will be very exciting and busy! ooooh my mom and I fi

nally FOUND the perfect cranberry color I have been looking for the bridesmaid dresses. They are at the same place I found my wedding dress and I am sooo excited! We are going to wait until Rachel comes home in December so we can finally set it in stone. The tie that Geoff is wearing and the dress that I am wearing are alm

ost the exact color that we found! yay! anyway.... 404 days left!

xoxo

oh yeah.... mom bought me these fall flowers as an example of what we might use in our fall bouquets! It is called a flame tip callelilly.

October 7, 2009

I am feeling a little sick.

sniffle nose.

lots of tissue. 

uuughhh.

that is all I guess. 

I'm just tired. 

Fall Blessings....

To help celebrate the first day of Autumn, my all time favorite season, I drove up to Santa Barbara to see some dear friends and to visit a place that has a part of my heart. 

Lately, I have been feeling "down" and needed some fresh air to help clear my head. 

The new scenery was of course wonderful and nice. I was able to pray the entire drive and ask the Lord for his blessing and protection. It was a nice day, with an icecream trip at the pier and a wonderful pizza dinner with a few friends. After dinner, we had a tasty desert with icecream and rich chocolate chip cookies. A perfect treat to celebrate fall's new blessings. Today, Wednesday, I went to chapel at Westmont and Ben Patterson talked about riding the rollercoasters of life and

 how important it is to sit snug with Jesus. I was touched by his message and his sweet words. I realized that the reasons I was feeling down were because I was going through a WILD rollercoaster and although, I was sitting in the same boat as Jesus, I was far away from him. I need to be sitting right next to him, as Ben said, "becoming one flesh" with Him. As soon as I put my complete, absolute trust in the Lord, then I will be able to see the rollercoaster from a different perspective.  I needed to hear that from the Lord this morning and he knew I would be listening. A couple weeks ago, our Pastor, spoke about our chikara which is a Japanese word meaning strength and power. When we are weak, God reveals his strength and power. When we are weak, we are made strong in the Lord. Pastor Gary went on to say that when we pray, "Lord, I can not get through ________ ( you fill in the blank) without your help" we become powerful! because we are first admitting our weakness! and that is when the Lord steps in! So ... with that message in mind, I prayed and prayed... LORD help me with this rollercoaster. I CAN NOT GET THROUGH IT WITHOUT YOU! 

and on another note, I had been praying for a job.... praying that God w

ould open the doors for a job that I can flourish in and have his guidance in.... and well I came back from the inspiring chapel ordeal and checked my gmail account and in my inbox was an email from a lady with a wedding company called premiere productions and she has an interview available for me THIS friday. At this job, I would be learning the business of becoming a wedding coordinator and even earning a big girl salary while learning the program!!!! I am so excited!!!! I don't know where this path will lead me but I know if God is in control I can handle ANYTHING!!!!!!

sooo.... keep me in your prayers.... for the LORD's will  to be done in every situation, circumstance, job opening and rollercoaster ride that I will be embarking on! whooo hoo!

 

on another note.... I am excited to count down one year to my wedding. I just keep praying that the Lord will prepare my heart and Geoffrey's. I know the Lord is good and I know that this rollercoaster ride will be interesting. soooo keep me close to you Lord! AMEN!

September

First of all, I can't believe we are more than half way through September already! Geez!

Secondly, I wanted to say that September has a lot of sentimental value for me and I thought it was important for me to share with everyone why....

My parents celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary on September 15th and my grandparents would have celebrated their 55th wedding anniversary today!

As a child, I always wanted to get married in September, (P.s I am wearing my mom's wedding dress in this picture.... I think I was 9years old?)

and I even wanted to get married in 2004..... I know a little over anxious..... but here is why.

My grandma was born in 1935 and my mom born in 1955 then I was born in 1985..... 20 years between my mom and grandma and thirty between my mom and I.

So.... it continues.... my Grandparents got married in 1954 and my parents in 1984.... so naturally, I either wanted to get married in 2004 or 2014 and since I realized that 2014 would be tooooooo far away, I thought 2004 would be just fine! ha That would have put me married right after high school and since my high school crush didn't really work out the way I wanted it to... I knew my 2004 dream was out the window.

Even though, I didn't get married in 2004, I'm not getting married in 2014, and my wedding isn't in September, I still love this month. It will always be special to me and maybe I can start a November tradition with my daughter. :)

Anyway, I just wanted to dedicate a blog to my grandparents and the day that would

have been their 55th wedding anniversary! I love you grandma and miss you very much!

This picture is so special to me!! I actually almost cried when I saw it! My grandma gave my papa this watch as his wedding day present and he has treasured it for 55 years! He always talks so highly of this watch! So sweet! My grandpa is really a wonderful man! He was so in love with my grandma! Gosh how adorable!

And this last picture just melts my heart! They look so happy to start their lives together!

I am so blessed to have them as my grandparents. They leave a wonderful legacy for me to follow.

10:18pm

and I am exhausted.

my hair is a mess.

and my eyes are red.

I haven't done much today, but I am tired.

Today, I did one errand. Today, I walked outside one time. Today, I picked up my Grandma's heart shaped necklace (that I will wear on my wedding day) and I realized that life happens very fast and it can swarm in chaos all around me.

After coming to this, kill my beautiful monday conclusion, I realized that I am not strong enough to deal with it at all.... unless I have Jesus, and I know it sounds so cheesy, but without his help I can not do anything. Dwelling on this took a lot out of me, and I have been emotionally, physically, and spiritually tired all day. sad - because I should have been uplifted at God's mighty grace, but I was not. I know the truth... and I know that he is so much greater than I... but still I am drained. I need to trust and I guess... I needed a day to soak it in.

goodnight.

a forever dream

one day... one day I will have a horse.

Im sure of it. 

It has been an aching dream of mine for a long time now.

one day... one day.

Some priceless summer moments

This summer the Canty clan went to a wedding ... (surprise surprise) in Oregon for a very close family friend. It was a magical wedding and the professional photos just surfaced and I wanted to share some of them with you....

Here comes the groom... We have known Tyler since we were all little... He is like our little brother....

This is his new bride watching from afar ...

My absolute favorite moment about weddings is watching the groom as his bride walks down the aisle. I know I am going to cry when I see Geoff as I walk down the aisle!

This wedding was so picture perfect. 

The couple, Mr and Mrs. Anderson had a foot washing ceremony. I have never seen this before during a wedding and I was absolutely touched by this servitude act. 

um... adorable!

The Anderson Family... both pairs of MR and MRS

THe handsome groomsmen... my brother Josh is on the far right. 

Josh and Tyler have grown up togetherThe photographer LOVED the jumping shots! Each boy has such a priceless face

It was an absolute pleasure to be there for Tyler and Sarah on their special day! 

We are a truly blessed family. 

May God's absolute blessing be extended to you both throughout your lives! We love yoU!

every little girls dream

There are many things that I dreamed of when I was a little girl and one of the many dreams I shared with many others is getting married!!! I have always dreamed of my wedding day, and for 22 years of my life  I did not know who the man of my life would be; That is until I met Geoffrey Arai. Even at the beginning of our relationship I did not know he was the one I was going to marry....I realized it much later in our relationship and then he proposed on November 19th 2008 and we will be married on November 20, 2010!!! In the mean time I have become obsessed with weddings... seriously. For all of my life, I have always attended weddings... some of the time I have been included in the big day as maybe a flower girl or a bridesmaid. I enjoy sharing the happiness of their day and do all I can to help. 

Anyway.... I have come to a life "ah ha moment" I have decided I want to become a wedding coordinator! I want to actually help couples everywhere put their special moments into action. I want to seek out couples and share their special day with them. I also want to put all of my friends/family's wedding photos together ... it might inspire me! haha anyway... this was a morning/afternoon realization that I simply had to share. I know there is more to the wedding day.... to concentrate on the MARRIAGE and make it last a life time... so I hope to always incorporate that in my new search.  so wish me all the luck you have.

the minute game

Making... a paper?
Watching... the two gentlemen in front of me at starbucks chit chatting like old men. so cute!
Reading... "talking from 9 to 5" by Deborah Tannen
Listening... Rascal Flatts
Whatever-ing... blogging... facebooking...sniffling....and typing a paper!!!

bittersweet

I just found out that our dear friends Christina and Eric will be having a little baby boy around October 2nd. I am so excited for them and the new life they will be bringing to this earth. I am very sad though... my heart aches because we are so so far apart! They live in the state of Washington and I really miss them!!! Luckily, I can follow Christina on her blogs... but still this news is bittersweet because I can not hug her big pregnant belly. I have never seen her pregnant with either Mylie or new baby boy. Maybe this summer, I will make the commute just to see them. Here is a picture of the precious little baby growing inside.

I am already praying for him and I don't even know his name.

don't mess...

with those Italian women... here is a funny story that was sent to me.... 

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.

 One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

 Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a
 large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the
 child.

 If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child
 support until the child turned 18.
 She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
 
To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and
 write 'Spaghetti' on the back.
 He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.
 
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife..
 'Honey,' she said, 'You have received a very strange postcard today.'
 Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said.

 The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned
 white, and fainted.
 On the card was written:
  Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti..
 
Three with meatballs, two without.
 

Send extra sauce.'For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.

 One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

 Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a
 large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the
 child.

 If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child
 support until the child turned 18.
 She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
 
To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and
 write 'Spaghetti' on the back.
 He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.
 
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife..
 'Honey,' she said, 'You have received a very strange postcard today.'
 Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said.

 The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned
 white, and fainted.
 On the card was written:
  Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti..
 
Three with meatballs, two without.
 
Send extra sauce."

GOD is good....ALL the Time!!!

Seriously. AWESOME!!! 

This weekend has been more than I ever expected it to be and I owe it all to my HEAVENLY FATHER. 

FAILURE

Failure is a gross word. We hate it. 

Recently, our pastor spoke on the Dark Knight of Failure. 

In his sermon, he told us many examples of what failure is NOT so that we can better understand what failure is.

 There are a couple important points that resonated with me particularly. 

I was blessed to go to this church service with Geoffrey and I will write more about that later.

In Pastor Gary's first point, he stated, "Failure is NOT avoidable" 

 I really really really resonated with this point. 

WE ARE ALL SINNERS!!! WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES! 

When I was at Westmont, I thought I couldn't fail... I thought that I was on top of the world! Ironically, in my first efforts to attend Westmont in 2005, I was rejected and had to go to community college for another year so that I could apply in 2006. I should have expected life to not go my way, but it seems that I forgot that lesson and I was convinced I was untouchable! Boy was I wrong! I blew it big time. I thought that if I asked for help or advice that I would be failing. I thought I could do it all alone. Instead, I did not ask, I did not seek advice and I failed all by myself. I had to leave Westmont. I could not avoid it at all. 

I had to accept my defeat and come home. 

His next point, "Failure is NOT the enemy"

 Sometimes, we have to learn this lesson more than once, twice or three times. 

When the three kids were younger, my parents bought us bikes so we could learn and be active little kids. Apparently this is how the story goes, my grandfather, my father and my uncle, all tried to help us learn to ride our bikes but not one of the Canty kids learned how to ride. 

 We went through our younger years not knowing how to ride. :( 

When I became 21 a friend of mine convinced me that I should buy myself a bike to celebrate my monumental birthday. PROBLEM!!! I still didn't know how to ride! SInce she was a good friend, she was committed to helping me learn to ride. Time and time again, I fell off my pretty yellow bike. I was so embarrassed. It is kinda cute when a little kid falls off but when a 21 year old falls.... people look twice. By me failing, I finally learned what I needed to do to get situated on that bike. By falling, I was able to teach myself to ride a bike! And now I can say I am so glad that I was not afraid of failing so I could continue to try. 

The other points Pastor Gary mentioned are 

"Failure is NOT irreversable and Failure is NOT final"

Pastor Gary's last point, was from John Maxwell, "Failure is the Price we pay for Success"

When we fail, we succeed. It sounds a little strange and annoying. Why can't we just succeed? Why can't we just skip the painful part? When we fail, we are able to gain strength and we have compassion for others who are failing. We are able to humble ourselves in the sight of the Lord and know that he still has our best interests at heart and cares for us in every way. 

From this example, I have to talk about Geoffrey. Today, he took test number three to become an EMT, and today he passed. After 6 months of classes and test taking, he passed with an 85%!!! I guess I should start by saying, the first time he took the test, he missed the cut off by 3 points, the second time, he missed by 1 point!!!! He was sooo ready to fail once more. 

He took some online quizzes and never got more than a 78% and he needed an 80% to pass. 

God took his two failures to teach him a BIG lesson! When Geoffrey called me this morning, I told him that he needs to pray that God's will is done in his life. I told Geoff that he needs to pray as he reads EVERY question. During his exam, he did pray and he realized that whatever happens the LORD is in control. By Geoff failing, he learned that his success is in the LORD and the LORD's awesome and amazing will. The Lord did more than help Geoff pass his EMT test, he helped Geoff learn that the Lord is in control. 

Take this with you as you go through your day... and remember this as you fail.

Psalm 37:23 states, "If the Lord delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand"

Another verse, James 5: 11 reminds us that even in failure, the Lord is full of love, "As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. YOu have heard Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. 

The Lord is full of compassion and mercy."

AAAhhhhhh

Today is dragggggggging on. It has been awful. THis is the only place I want to be... 

well maybe this or hanging out with Geoff.... and one day... this with Geoff?! haha

and the clock struck

and my midterm was submitted without me completing the timed test. 

and my back was killing me.

and i snapped at geoffrey.

.... today was not my day.

BUT THEN I REMEMBERED THAT even this day IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS MADE and I prayed and apologized for acting like I did... and told the Lord I was sorry.... and calmed down

AND THEN the clock struck again....

and my teacher restarted the grading clock so I could restart my midterm.

and my pain subsided

and geoffrey said the sweetest things to remind me that all will be okay...

and then Laura called to tell me she was thinking of me

.... then today turned around.

Lately, I have been lying to myself and not being honest about what has been bothering me. 

Today I was honest to myself and to Jesus and he helped me in my time of need. Boy, did I need it today! He knew and he understood and HE ALONE IS HELPING CARRY ME THROUGH!!!

I would like to thank Geoffrey and Laura and Dave Barnes for being used by Jesus to help me smile again. 

WHen??

When is the moment that you realize you have grown up? 

When is the moment that you realize all has changed?

As I sit at school today, I realized I am a 23 year young woman, engaged, and almost done with college.... where will life take me next? I literally blinked and my life flew by. I never really took advantage of the fact that I was growing up. I was hesitant of change all my life and never embraced the change as it happened... 

I prepared for it... and it passed.... I never anticipated growing up and moving on. 

It just happened.

I just have to add...

this picture makes all the stresses of today better. I will have to tell you the story sometime. We've had a great 2 years filled with moments like this. so so fuN!

I love him! (sigh)

so much emotion

well today has been filled with emotion. gosh.

today is my grandma's birthday. she would have been 74. I kept thinking of buying a box of See's candy because that is something she always enjoyed on her special days.. and well random times through out the week. I really miss her today. It is really strange that she is gone because sometimes I simply think she is in Arizona. She used to go there ALOT and spend weeks there with my papa and queenie. Since my papa is always gone, I just assume they are together and will be home soon. Its so strange that she is not here for her birthday this year!! 

Today is also Geoff and I's two year anniversary. and it has been 5 months since we've been engaged. Crazy! I remember two years ago when we were sitting in my car, and he was proposing all the reasons why I should be his girlfriend. He was so cute and so excited. It was the wee hours of the morning and we had been up all night studying and talking as Westmont was drawing to a close. I was eager to be his girlfriend because all the back and forth stuff was driving me crazy!!! I told him... as your first boyfriend duty, make sure I call my grandma on her birthday! He did remind me ... so sweet. He thought that I was going to tell her about our new relationship status.... but I did not. I dont think that was the kind of present that was on my grandma's wish list. 

Ahhhh anyway... today has been soo crazy. Soooo many assignments due and sooo many crazy partners are trying to get the best of me. I haven't even seen Geoff today. :(  He had a chance to take his EMT pretest. So he missed our lunch and I am at school all night doing a group mid term. so lame! and...  well there are other things bothering me but GOD is in control of those. He is helping me....cause otherwise I would probably be crying as I write this. Uuuugh!!!

Its just been one of those days. But I am so glad that I had this moment to breathe and think of people that I love. (sigh of relief)

Well the moment is over... on to the next task. Group mid-term. you know how fun those can be?! well .... the positive light is that I am filing my Graduation intent on Tuesday and I am almost done with CSULA group projects and dealing with stressful people. 

(BIG SIGH OF RELIEF!)

anyway... I guess thats all. 

pre-pre-pre wedding jitters?

i just had a small panic attack for my wedding.... what colors? will they go well? will our reception place look GREAT!??!? what will my wedding dress look like? will i like my hair? aahhhH!!! i think im thinking way too hard. i just saw a friend's wedding pictures and i see beautiful weddings every weekend... but what if mine doesn't measure up!?!! geesh. 

monkey see... monkey do

I guess It's just one of those days.