remembering

Today I was looking at pictures of grandma bee and I started crying. I really miss her right now. Christmas eve was her day. It was her time to shower us in gifts and cook us a special dinner. it was her time to be with us. this year is going to be so hard because she isn't here.


THe first picture was from josh's high school graduation in 2005. Grandma was so excited that our outfits matched! She made sure we got a picture together!!!

The second picture was of us last year... then we had no idea how sick she really was.

back in the day

it was not common to see us together
we were always at the mall or at pioneers together
but now it is a rare occurrence
now we rarely see one another
but today we are going to breakfast and I could not be more happy!
<3 yay for our reunion

wait this might help...

little things like this make me smile

this is for john charlton.

and for corinna because she will see it.

<3>

few and far

i've realized that good friends are few and far between.

this is an ode to all of them. i appreciate and love you. 

it wouldn't be Christmas without you

well there is a song that says "it wouldn't be Christmas without you" and it always makes me so sad whenever it plays because I think of people in my life who are so important to me and I think of what Christmas would be without them and I just feel so sad inside!!!!! But today as we were hanging ornaments on our tree and that song was playing I felt sad... but then I remembered how it wouldn't be CHRISTmas without CHRIST!!! what would this holiday be like without JESUS? gosh... there wouldn't be anything to celebrate. I know that whatever happens in life... friends come and go.... relationships sadly fade away... family passes on to better places... but the one one thing that will always stay in my life is CHRIST!! I BELIEVE in my Saviour and I BELIEVE that JESUS is coming again and I am a blessed creature to live on this earth and live in his creation. I was feeling sad earlier today.... i was missing my grandma bee and feeling a little overwhelmed by how fast this year has gone by. I was just .... sigh..... a little sad. and i began thinking of how much I have been blessed with. I began thinking of all the wonderful blessings God has done in my life and I realized that with Christ I can get through the holidays..... and everyday. 

This is my favorite ornament this year. We have always had it but this year it makes me smile more than it ever has. I hope one day Geoff and I can be like this. :) what a wonderful thing to look forward to. I hope that we are this blessed as we age. 
Here is our wonderful tree. Mom and Dad added a little after I took the picture, but still this is mostly the finished product. 
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night! I love you all. 

<3

its finally time!!!!

I CAN FINALLY ANNOUNCE THAT GEOFF AND I ARE ENGAGED!!!

here is how it all went down on November 19th 2008

Geoff came over for his normal wednesday night dinner and we matched!! Isnt that so cute! we didn't even plan it!

and he brought me flowers!

Geoff and Rachel were in cahoots for a long time and they had all these details worked out! I had no idea really and thought that we were just getting all dressed up for dinner! We went down to the manhattan beach pier for dinner and I was sooo excited to see the wonderful sunset that I was not paying attention to geoff's nonverbal cues! He was so adorable and promised me wonderful things that made my heart go flutter. As we were walking Geoff said I want to give you this ring so we can have our first dinner as an engaged couple!!! It was so precious!!! I didn't want to look at the ring and I was freaking out! I was sooo caught off guard! I was soo excited!!! I have to say that this whole week has been rather crazy because we wanted our family to know before our friends. sorry guys. Geoff and I have had this crazy week of keeping our little "secret" and we were able to enjoy each other.   It has been quite a whirl wind but we are so excited and I can't wait to keep updating with more information!!! 

its beginning to look alot like....

the holidays and i'm sooo excited!!!!!!!!!

I lift my eyes up to the hills.....

http://www.westmont.edu/teafire/

Here is Westmont's home page with alot more information. 

I am so overwhelmed by the sadness that has happened to my friends and family.

But I AM ALSO OVERWHELMED WITH GOD'S WONDERFUL GRACIOUSNESS!!!

Here is my favorite song and I hope it ministers to you in the same way it has touched me.

Casting Crows

"I will Praise you in the Storm"

I was sure by now

God you would have reached down

And wiped our tears away

Stepped in and saved the day

But once again, I say "Amen", and its still raining

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear Your whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm

And I will lift my hands

For you are who You are

No matter where I am

Every tear I've cried

You hold in your hands

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

I remember when

I stumbled in the wind

 You heard my cry

You raised me up again

My strength is almost gone

How can I carry on

If I can't You

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills

Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord

The maker of Heaven and Earth

some more fire updates

http://www.sb-outdoors.org/fire/index.html

 

i am so heart broken. this website shows some pictures. im speachless.

westmont on fire!

Today at 6pm erin called me to tell me that there was a fire behind Westmont and that students were being evacuated! What a scary thing! I talked to her for a while as she gave me little updates here and there. By the time I got home at 830, fire had spread all over montecito! The above picture is an image of route 101. it IS everywhere! as the family and I sat around the TV watching as red and orange flames licked the sides of buildings and trees we were eager to hear where exactly this fire was leading to. As we sat there the words "Westmont College" were said. I could not believe it! Westmont was on the news! The men and women that were reporting said that around 1300 students were safe in Westmont's fireproof gyM! what shocked my core was when she said that there were some hot spots at Westmont!!!!!!!! As we sat in horror, We heard that the Library,and the old math building, (both pictured above) the physics building, and the quanset huts were on fire!!!!! these quanset huts were where i worked during Phoneathon!!!!! they showed us image after image of buildings on fire! i couldnt distinguish between what was on Westmont property and what was not. After a while, they began to grow more and more concerned with Westmont. It was on all the stations now and it was all everyone was talking about. As the family and I watched, I recognized the stone hedge that protects Westmont's main drive way and welcomes students and families in as they drive up. After I saw that my heart began to sink. Now, the fire is getting too personal! Westmont is my home! As I sat on the edge of my seat, I witnessed Clark Halls being engulfed in flames. Fire spilled out of the top of the clark halls. fire was in the windows pouring out! Clark was were I was roomed my first year. It is where I met my boyfriend Geoff. It is where I met some of my best friends! It is the transfer section. enough said. it is home!!!! 

I began to cry as I was talking to erin, whom I met in the transfer section in clark, I couldnt believe that it was burning down!  I know I am not there anymore but it is still my school....my home!!!!!! WOW. i am still in shock. I read a friend's comment on facebook and she said "it is a good thing that Westmont is more than a place" and she is right. Westmont is a beautiful place with beautiful trees and amazing memories. I love them and will cherish them all, but Westmont is more than a place.... it is a warm feeling i get in the pit of my stomach,  it is something to belong to, it is a name that always brings a smile to my face, it is my friend, it is a memory that will never leave. I dont know what is happening right now. I shut the news off. Every article I read made me more sad. I know this..... Erin and Justin are safe at home. Laura and her sister just arrived at erin's house and are safe. Jean marc is in the fireproof gym safe.and all the other students and facutly are being taken care of and they are safe and secure. and i know this.... THAT GOD IS IN CONTROL. No matter what happens. No matter what is still standing in the morning. I know that God works all things together for good. I know that he is STILL A GOOD GOD!!!!!! I am confident that the Lord is watching over my friends. I know because those friends of mine are HIS CHILDREN!!!! I Know that "it" will all be okay. I know that Troy Harris is the best man for this daunting job set before him. I know that all is in the hands of MY HEAVENLY FATHER!!! I know that PRAYER CHANGES THINGS! I KNOW THAT I HAVE A GREAT GOD WHO CAN CONTROL ANY FIRE!!!! 

Please keep Westmont and Montecito in your prayers.

I will post more when I know more. 

on a ferris wheel

all of a sudden your breath gets taken away.

...

and 

...

your heart stops

...

and

...

your heart is open at the same time.

there are highs and lows.

there are fast and slows.

hearts flutter 

emotions soar 

bodies reach the sky

life happens when on a ferris wheel

tick tock

you know the feeling when you know that time is ticking by so you try to go faster and faster but its all in vain because the time speeds up faster than before? i think i am there.

a little bit

today has been rather crazy already and its all happened before noon!!!!

i released a little bit of anger towards this crazy girl in class.... 

actually i held my tongue on alot of what i could have said. 

when i spoke to her i was simply making factual statements and that sent her into a crazy whirlwind. geez. you should have seen it though. 

im kind of a bad ass. ha

FALLing for you

This is the season that makes me tingly all over. I FALL in love every time. Fall is my favorite time of the year because it reminds me of family and fresh baked cookies. The crisp morning air reminds me of the times my family and I had at our cabin in the mountains. Fall's beautiful leaves remind me of grandma bee. Strange because she would water the leaves down quite frequently. She didn't want the leaves to "stain" her lawn. Before she did water them down, she would let me see all the golden ones that had fallen that morning. Fall is precious to me. Fall has been kind to me. 

Here are some of the things that I have been up to this fall season... I made some yummy marble cupcakes a couple weeks ago. I was inspired one fall day to bless my dear friends. I shared some wonderful moments with my 

Grandma Reen and my dear sister Rachel by sharing in laughs, and lots of stories. We had a nice time being girls. :) Unfortunately, the cupcakes did not make it to my friends as I had planned. Apparently they would not travel well and I didn't want my friends to get a big chocolate mess. 

we had a liter of 19 kitties.

They all had their own personalities.

We love them so much! :)

             

                                                             
Rachel and I did a little hat shopping with Esther. We were not intending to find these wonderful hats, but oh my aren't they beautiful!??!

We visited pumpkin patches... we carved pumpkins... dressed up for halloween...

**MeeeeeeooooooW**

well that is all so far..... but FALLing for you isn't over quite yet..... we still have all of november :)

today is the day

I guess today is the day that I start this whole "blogging" thing.  For a while now, I have been following my friends' blogs and even my dad's and I saw how much fun they have on blogspot so I thought I would try it out. What is sad is that I am in class right now and totally distracted so I wanted to make a page! haha Dont tell mommy! anyway... I hope to keep this updated and keep it lots of fun! I will try to post more when Im not in class!  :) 

 

this is me  signing off..... 

cmc